How to Save a Life
by AgentRez
Summary: Jack Bauer could save the world from terrorists, but couldn't save his best friend from going down the wrong path. Prequel to AgentRez's season 8, showing Jack struggling to come to terms with what happened to Tony, wondering if maybe he can still help.
1. Chapter 1

_As promised, here is the first part of the prequel to the season 8 story I am writing. I am hoping it will help put my season 8 into context and help address the criticism I've gotten from some readers that Jack is being too nice to Tony after everything Tony did. I hope this helps to explain Jack's feelings about the Tony situation in a way I felt the writers failed to do in the season 7 finale. _

_I do not plan on including any season 8 spoilers in the prequel, and will warn you if that changes. So even if you are not reading my season 8 because of minor spoilers you can still read this…and I think it works as a standalone story too. _

_This part takes place about a week after season 7. There will probably be 4-5 parts in total. Enjoy and please review…it keeps me motivated to keep writing! And feel free to be honest…I appreciate honest criticism. _

* * *

Jack is laying in a hospital bed a week after his surgery. Kim is by his side, showing him pictures on her laptop.

"Steven and I spent some time scanning all my old paper photos too," she explains. "Pretty much every picture I ever had is in here. Here's Teri when she first came home from the hospital," she says, zooming in on one image. Jack smiles sadly, hating the fact that he missed the first year of his granddaughter's life.

Kim's phone rings. "Hey, shouldn't you be in the air already?" she asks.

"The flight was delayed, but I think we're about to take off," Steven says on the other end.

"Argh," she groans. "Did they say what time you'll be getting in?"

"They said around 7, assuming there are no further delays," Steven answers.

"Alright. I'll keep checking on your flight so I know what time to pick you up. How's Teri?"

"She's sleeping right now, thank goodness," Steven says. "Fingers crossed that she'll stay that way."

"Yeah."

"Hey, they just made the announcement to turn our cell phones off, so I better go," Steven says.

"Alright. I'll see you in a few hours. I love you both. I can't wait to see you," Kim says with a smile.

"Love you too."

She hangs up and turns back to Jack. "They'll be here in a few hours," she says excitedly. Jack grunts in acknowledgment but doesn't really seem to be listening.

"Daddy, are you okay?" she asks worriedly.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry, sweetheart. My mind was somewhere else for a minute."

Kim sits back down next to him and notices that he is staring at a picture from Tony and Michelle's wedding on her laptop. She sighs, understanding why he was a million miles away.

"I still can't believe what happened to Tony," she says.

"Yeah," Jack says softly, clearly anguished by the whole thing.

"When Agent Walker called me at the airport and told me that Tony sent people to try to kidnap me I couldn't believe it. I mean, Tony used to go out of his way to protect me…that year when you were in Mexico with the Salazars he was almost like a surrogate father to me."

"Yeah," Jack laments. "For what it's worth, I don't think he planned for his operatives to kidnap you. He told them not to hurt you unless they had to to get me to cooperate…at least, that's what he told me after I broke him out of custody."

"Do you know why he was doing it? I mean, why would he get involved with the same kind of terrorists he spent his whole career fighting against?"

Jack sighs. "The man who orchestrated the attacks last week is the same man who was behind Michelle's death. Tony spent years working his way up in his group in order to get the chance to kill the man responsible for Michelle's murder."

Kim nods, looking like it makes more sense to her now.

"So he wasn't really working for them? He was just trying to infiltrate their group?" she asks hopefully.

"Technically, I guess," Jack answers. "But he killed innocent people in the process. I guess that raises the question, at what point do you go so far in fighting these people that you become just like them? It's a fine line, and I don't deny that I've crossed it a few times."

"You still feel sorry for him in spite of what he did to you, don't you?" Kim asks.

Jack sighs heavily. "I don't want to," he admits. "He killed innocent people and he betrayed me personally. But as much as I don't want to admit it, I understand what drove him there…" he says softly, his voice showing emotion.

"Me too," Kim admits. "I mean, after Mom died, I was so angry…for a while all I could think about was how much I wanted Nina dead. And if you'd told me that it wouldn't make me feel much better I wouldn't have believed you…I guess I had to learn that for myself."

"Yeah," Jack says softly, acknowledging that he feels the same way.

"But at least we had each other…I mean, I know I pushed you away, but at least you were still there…Tony didn't have anyone."

Jack shakes his head sadly. "I just wish I knew he was still alive," he laments. "You're probably right that he had to learn for himself, but I can't help but wonder if I could have helped him."

"Well, maybe you still can," Kim suggests.

Jack looks up, surprised. "How?" he asks softly. "How can I help him when he won't even try to help himself? Chloe said she's pretty sure he was recording phone conversations that could be used to convict some of the people behind last week's attacks, but he won't even talk to anyone about cutting a deal. He knows he could be facing the death penalty and he doesn't care…frankly, I think he finds it to be a relief. It's like he's just given up…"

"Well, maybe you could talk to him," Kim says. "Maybe he'll listen to you."

Jack shakes his head. "I'm the one who stopped him from achieving what he'd been working for for the past five years. He probably hates me as much as he hates the man who killed Michelle. He wouldn't listen to me."

"You don't know that," Kim insists. She takes a deep breath before continuing. "Look, when you faked your death and Tony called to tell me you were dead…I was angry. When you worked at CTU I was prepared to get that call but I thought you had left all that behind, and the day Tony called I wasn't prepared for it. I was angry with you for going out of your way to put yourself in danger when you were supposed to have moved on…I know it sounds so stupid now…"

"No, sweetheart, it doesn't," Jack says soothingly, holding her hand.

Kim takes a deep breath and regains her composure. "Anyway, Tony understood how I was feeling. He told me that it made him sick watching you throw everything away when you had finally gotten your life back together, but deep down he knew you were doing the right thing. He said you always did the right thing, and that's what made him resent you sometimes because it made him feel inadequate. But he admitted that deep down, he just wished he could be half the man you are."

"He said that?" Jack asks, surprised.

"Yeah. I guess it's one of those things he could never admit to your face, but I know he feels that way."

"That was a long time ago, sweetheart," Jack says softly.

"Yeah, it was. And obviously he's changed. But I bet deep down there's a part of him that still admires you, even if he won't admit it to himself. If there's anyone he'll listen to, it's you. And if he really has information that could save lots of lives, isn't it worth a try?" she asks.

Jack doesn't answer, but Kim can tell he's thinking about what she said.

"Maybe," he says softly after a minute. "Listen, sweetheart, I should probably get a little bit of rest before Steven and Teri get here."

"Okay, I'll get out of your way then," Kim agrees. "I want you to be nice and perky when you meet your granddaughter," she says with a smile.

"I can't wait," Jack says. Kim leans over and gives him a kiss on the forehead. "I love you," she says.

"I love you so much," Jack says softly, his voice choking up a little.

After Kim leaves, he sighs heavily, thinking about what she said. Part of him feels more content and complete than he's felt in years, having her back in his life. He's excited to meet his son-in-law and granddaughter in a few hours, and he is anxious to move on with his life and put the past behind him. But deep down, he knows Kim is right. As much as he doesn't want to see Tony again, he knows he'll drive himself crazy unless he does. Part of him wants to just let Tony get what he deserves and not worry about it, but he knows that with all the history between them he can't just walk away.


	2. Chapter 2

_Here's the next part. I'm not totally happy with it and may revise it, but I wanted to get something up because I have kept you waiting long enough. Hopefully I will have more soon. I know you are probably wondering when Tony will be in it, so I will tell you that the next chapter will probably be Jack talking to the president about Tony, and then I will have the scene where he goes to visit Tony in prison. I tried to work in the request for a little bit of Jack with his granddaughter, and I also showed him getting to know his son-in-law a little bit. So enjoy and please review:_

* * *

Jack is sitting in his hospital bed holding and admiring his granddaughter. Steven, his son and law, is sitting by the side of the bed, talking to Kim on the phone.

"Your father's doing fine...so far he's been too busy playing with Teri to give me the third degree," he whispers into the phone.

"Well, that's good," Kim says with a laugh. "Good news. I found a stuffed dog that I think looks enough like Mr. Wiggles that Teri won't know the difference."

"Alright, that's great. I don't know how I forgot to pack him."

"It happens," Kim says understandingly. "Hey, did you ask the doctor what my father could eat?"

"Yeah. She said he can have most regular food, but he needs to be careful. They're mostly just keeping him in the hospital because he's patient 0 with a new type of virus, and they want to keep him under observation for a while."

"Alright, well, I'm going to stop off at the supermarket so I can at least get him an edible alternative to the crap they've been giving him since they took him off the IV. I'll be back in about an hour."

"Alright, sweetheart, I'll see you soon."

Steven hangs up the phone and turns back to Jack.

"Kim found a stuffed dog that hopefully looks close enough," he tells Jack.

"That's a relief," Jack says with a smile. "When Kim was that age, she had a stuffed rabbit she was just as attached to."

"I didn't realize how attached Teri was until I forgot to pack her stuffed dog for this trip. She keeps asking for it. It's one of the only words she knows."

Jack smiles. "Hey Teri, can you say 'grandpa'?" Steven says to his daughter. Teri looks at him curiously.

"Oh well, she'll get there," Steven says.

"Yeah," Jack says, a hint of sadness in his voice.

"Listen, Jack, I want you to know that I would have asked your permission. I mean, I tried, but nobody knew how to get in touch with you."

"Yeah, I know," Jack says sadly. "I'm sorry that I wasn't there to walk her down the aisle," he says. "It's killing me that I missed the first 14 months of Teri's life."

"Well, you have the whole rest of her childhood to enjoy with us," Steven says.

"Yeah," Jack says softly.

Before Steven can say anything else, there is a knock at the door.

Jack looks up and sees Gohar standing in the doorway. He motions for him to come in.

"Thank you for coming," he greets him. "This is my son-in-law, Steven, and my granddaughter Teri."

Gohar shakes Steven's hand and smiles at the baby.

"Steven, could you give us a minute?" Jack asks.

"Yeah, of course," Steven says. He scoops up Teri out of Jack's arms and takes her out of the room.

"I was happy to get your call," Gohar begins. "I prayed that the surgery would be successful."

"Thank you," Jack says appreciatively. "That's the main reason I called. I just wanted to thank you for your help. When I thought it was the end, you helped me get to a place where I felt at peace with my life, and I just wanted to say how much I appreciated it."

"Of course. Any time you need counsel, I am here," Gohar says gently. He studies Jack's face for a moment. "There is something else, isn't there? You look like there is something troubling you," he observes.

"Yeah," Jack says with a sigh. He takes a deep breath before continuing. "When we came to your mosque and asked you to help us find Jibraan, I don't think I told you that the man who was holding his brother hostage and forcing him to carry out the attack, he's...he used to be a friend of mine," Jack explains, the emotion showing in his voice.

"The terrorist? This man was your friend?" Gohar asks curiously.

"No," Jack says quickly. "I mean, he wasn't a terrorist back when he was my friend. We used to work together at CTU, and back then he served this country with as much dedication as just about anyone I knew."

"But then something happened to change him?" Gohar asks.

Jack nods. "His wife was killed," he explains. "The two of them helped me escape when my life was in danger and she was murdered as a result, by the same people responsible for the assassination of David Palmer. For years I thought he had been killed too, but it turns out he was revived...I don't know all the details, but the point is, while everyone thought he was dead, he was on a quest for years to find and take care of the people responsible for his wife's death, which included the man behind the attacks last week. Tony was on a mission to infiltrate his group and bring him down at all costs, even if it meant killing innocent people and betraying his friends in the process. He just seemed...his eyes were so cold when I saw him last week. He was nothing like the man I knew..."

"But you believe the man you knew is still there beneath the surface?" Gohar asks.

Jack sighs. "I'm probably just in denial," he admits. "I told one of our coworkers who used to work with us at CTU that the man we knew doesn't exist anymore, but I'm having a hard time accepting it. I guess I feel like he just built this wall around his emotions and if I could only break through that wall I could get through to him and get him to do the right thing. I'm pretty sure he has information that could help convict the man he was after and I may be in a position to help him cut a deal, but I don't know what the right thing to do is. I usually have such a strong sense of right and wrong...it's one of the few things I've felt secure about. But right now I have no idea, and that scares me."

"I cannot tell you what is right," Gohar says gently. "I can only tell you to do what is in your heart. If in your heart you still see your friend behind the mask, then you must not give up on him. But whatever you decide, you must remember that he will be judged and punished by a court of law, and at the end of the day, G-d will be his judge. It is not your place to judge him or to seek vengeance upon him. Do not seek to inflict pain just to see if he can still feel it. Do not break his shield unless you are prepared to help him learn to live without it. Do not ask him to seek forgiveness unless you can open your heart to forgive."

Jack sighs. "I don't know if I can," he admits. "I mean, right now I'm so disgusted with what he did that the thought of being in the same room with him again makes me nauceous. He betrayed my trust, and I don't know if I could ever forgive him for that. Sometimes I just wish I'd killed him when I had the chance. Maybe we'd both be better off."

"But you didn't?" Gohar asks.

Jack shakes his head. "I don't know why, but something was holding me back...I just couldn't bring myself to pull the trigger."

"Perhaps it's a sign," Gohar says gently. "A sign that you were not ready to give up on him in spite of his crimes."

"Yeah," Jack says with a sigh.

"Listen, you don't have to make that decision today," Gohar advises. "Give it time. Let the passions cool on both sides. Ask yourself if you could be at peace if you did nothing, if you let the state judge him and let him accept his punishment without intervention."

Jack nods in agreement. He knows Gohar is right, that the best thing to do is to take some time and let his anger cool down, and see if he can let it go. But deep down, he already knows the answer to Gohar's last question.


	3. Chapter 3

_Okay, here's part three. I know it's been forever, and I hope people are still reading this. The good news is, Tony will be in the next part, and I have that almost all written, so you shouldn't have to wait too long for it. But I thought it made sense to show Jack talking to the president first, to explain how he was able to offer Tony a deal. So I hope you like this part...reviews are very much appreciated and keep me writing. _

_

* * *

_

A couple weeks later, Jack is in a hotel in Washington recovering from the surgery. "Let me see if he's awake," he hears Kim say. Kim knocks on the door.

"I'm up, come on in," he calls.

Kim enters the room, followed by two Secret Service agents. "Dad, the president's on her way to see you...these agents just need to do a sweep of the room first," she explains. Jack nods. "Go ahead," he tells the agents.

A few minutes later, another agent escorts President Taylor into the room.

"Jack, how are you doing?" she asks warmly.

"I'm doing alright, thank you for coming by," he answers.

Taylor sighs. "I wanted to visit you in the hospital, but with everything that's been going on it's been impossible."

"I understand, ma'am," Jack reassures her.

"This must be your daughter," she says, acknowledging Kim.

"Yes, ma'am. This is my daughter Kim and my granddaughter Teri."

Taylor extends her hand to Kim and smiles at Teri. "She's adorable. How old is she?"

"About fourteen months," Kim answers.

"Congratulations," the president says. "I'm so glad she got the chance to meet her grandfather."

"Me too," Kim says with a smile.

Just then, Teri starts to cry.

"Ugh...it's past her bedtime...I better go put her down," Kim says, knowing her father probably wants to discuss information with the president that she isn't privy to.

"Well, it's very nice to meet you," Taylor says with a smile.

"You too, Madam President. It's an honor," Kim says. She takes Teri into the adjoining suite, leaving Jack alone with the president.

"So how are you feeling?" she asks him.

"Okay for the most part," he answers. "Hopefully I'll be mobile and out of this damn bed soon."

"Well, you take it easy. Don't push yourself," she urges.

"I won't," Jack says with a chuckle, amused at the president's tendency to act like his mother. "Ma'am, I'm so sorry about your daughter," he says softly. "I can't even imagine how difficult it must be."

Taylor sighs, clearly anguished. "I just wish I felt confident that I was doing the right thing," she laments.

"I can't answer that, ma'am," Jack says softly. "All I know is, losing someone you care about changes people. The resulting anger, the need for revenge or justice or whatever you want to call it can make people do things...things you never thought they were capable of."

"You're not just talking about my daughter, are you, Jack?" the president asks with a raised eyebrow.

"No ma'am," Jack admits, his own anguish apparent in his voice.

President Taylor sighs sympathetically. "I'm sorry about your friend, Jack," she says softly. "I know how difficult it must be to see what's happened to him."

"Yeah," Jack says softly. "Madam President, can I ask what the status is of the investigation?"

"Well, it seems your friend Renee Walker decided to take a page from your playbook when dealing with Alan Wilson," the president tells Jack.

"Ma'am, she was doing what she believed was right," Jack says forcefully.

"I understand that, but she still broke the law," Taylor says equally forcefully. "But regardless of how the FBI decides to deal with her, and I am leaving it to their discretion, the bottom line is, none of the information she obtained is going to be admissible in court. And unfortunately, it seems that Wilson and his comrades covered their tracks pretty well. Without any evidence, there's only so long we can even keep this bastard in custody."

"Madam President, with all due respect, you cannot let him go free. If you do, he will disappear into the shadows and you will never get another crack at him."

"I understand that, Jack, but we don't have any other options."

"That may not be true, ma'am," Jack says.

"I am not going to hold him indefinitely against the law, Jack," she insists. "I promised when I was elected that I would put an end to such abuses."

"I understand, ma'am," Jack agrees. "But there may be another way to convict Wilson."

"How?" she asks.

"Before Tony was taken into custody, he told me that he had enlisted Bill Buchanan and Chloe O'Brien to help track Wilson and his group and gather evidence to turn them in after he was done with Wilson. I talked to Chloe, and she said Tony never told her about Wilson or who he was working with, but he asked her at one point how to hack in and tap a cell phone without being detected. She gave him instructions and she's pretty sure that he was recording calls made by Wilson's assistant. She was the intermediary for the group, and if Tony managed to tap her cell then the recordings he made are probably enough evidence to convict not only Wilson but other members of the group as well."

"Jack, if you're right, why hasn't Mr. Almeida come forward with his evidence and tried to leverage it for a deal? He knows he's going to be facing the death penalty otherwise. The FBI sent someone to talk to him and I told them to convey that I was willing to guarantee that he'd be spared the death penalty if he was able to help us convict Wilson, but he refused to talk. Maybe he was just trying to position for a better deal, but I didn't get that sense from what the FBI told me."

"He's angry," Jack explains to the president. "He's angry, and he's demoralized. Not to mention the fact that he's lost faith in the government to administer justice fairly. To be perfectly honest, I think the death penalty probably sounds like a relief to him."

The president sighs sympathetically. "So what are you suggesting?"

"Let me talk to him, after I'm more mobile."

"You think you can convince him to cooperate?"

"Maybe. But I think you need to offer him more than life in prison."

"Jack, with everything he did, I can't possibly offer him a free pass."

"I know," Jack agrees. "And I don't want you to, believe me. But it doesn't have to be either or. You can offer him a reduced sentence in exchange for cooperation."

Taylor sighs. "Even if I were willing to do that, and I'm not saying that I am, do you think it would make a difference? You just said the death penalty sounded like a relief for him."

"I don't know, ma'am," Jack says honestly. "But I think it's worth a try. I think I can get through to him and help him see the bigger picture, but it's not going to work if he has no hope of ever seeing the world outside of a prison wall again."

Taylor shakes her head. "Jack, I understand what you're saying, but I just don't think I can do it. He killed over twenty federal agents and attempted to orchestrate a terrorist attack that would have killed thousands of civilians if you hadn't stopped him in time. How is that any different from the people he was trying to take down?"

"It's not, Madam President," Jack agrees. "But it's a question of who's a greater threat to society."

"What about the families of the people he killed?" Taylor asks. "It's not fair to them to let him go free."

"Madam President, with all due respect, Tony betrayed me, he put my daugther in danger, and he tried to use me as a human bomb to kill Alan Wilson. But in spite of everything he did, I could sleep a lot easier at night knowing he was going to get a second chance at some point than I could knowing a man like Alan Wilson was allowed to go free."

"I value your opinion greatly, Jack, but I want to make sure you're being objective here. It sounds to me like you've still got some degree of sympathy for your old friend in spite of everything."

Jack sighs. "I'm beyond disgusted with him, believe me," he says. "But as much as I'd rather not admit it, I know how he got to where he is. I know what it's like to lose everything, to be betrayed and to feel like you have to take matters into your own hands because there's nobody you can trust. I know what it's like to get so caught up in a mission that you don't stop to think about the consequences. I guess it scares me to think that I could have gone down the same path."

"But you didn't," Taylor says firmly. "In spite of everything you suffered, you stayed true to who you were and you continued to serve this country even when this country failed you."

"I crossed the line a few times," Jack admits. "There were times when I let my anger get the best of me. But after my wife was killed, I still had a daughter to think about. I don't want to sound like I'm making excuses for him, but Tony didn't have anybody."

"Didn't he have any other family?" Taylor asks.

Jack shakes his head. "No," he says. "He grew up in a rough neighborhood in South Central Los Angeles, and his father and brother were killed in a drive-by shooting when he was fifteen. I think survivor's guilt is one of the reasons he joined the Marines and then went to work for CTU. His mother died of breast cancer about eight years ago. All he wanted was a family of his own…and in one second, Alan Wilson took that all away from him."

Taylor sighs, finding it hard not to be sympathetic. "Listen, Jack, I'll think about what you said, but I want you to promise me that if I let you get involved, this will be it. Aside from this, I want you to focus on getting better and on being a father and a grandfather. You've done more than enough for this country already."

"Madam President, I promise, this will be the last thing I do for the government," Jack says. "I'm ready to get my life back and all I want is to spend time with my daughter and her family. But I want...I need to see this through to the end," he says earnestly.

"Alright. I'll talk to my advisors about this and see what they think. In the meantime, you take it easy and keep me posted on how you're doing, alright?"

"Yes, ma'am, I will. Thank you for coming by. It means a lot."

"Thank you for everything," she says warmly.


	4. Chapter 4

_I know it's been a few years, and I don't know if anyone still reads 24 fanfiction or is interested in this story. But I realized when going through an old hard drive that I never posted the last 2 chapters of this, so I figured I might as well. Reviews are very much appreciated._

* * *

Cold, stony, indifferent. The expression on Tony's face as he is brought into a private visiting room at the Central Detention Facility in DC is one he's spent years perfecting. It's an expression designed to protect himself by concealing his emotions from the world. But when he sees Jack waiting for him, surprise overtakes him, and his guard is momentarily let down when his shock registers on his face. He quickly regains his composure, looking away and rolling his eyes with indifference, but he knows he let his guard down for long enough for Jack to see it, and he knows that unnerving him is exactly what Jack is trying to do.

"Hi, Tony," Jack says calmly, in a smug tone that says that he knows his presence caught Tony off guard and is making him uncomfortable.

Tony doesn't respond.

"Surprised to see me?" Jack asks.

"Not really," Tony says coldly. "You're like a cat with 9 lives. So why'd you come? Did they send you to interrogate me, or did you just want some closure?"

"I'm here to help you, Tony," Jack says flatly.

Tony scoffs. "If by helping me you mean trying to convince me that I should cooperate with the FBI so they can have enough leverage to cut Wilson a deal in exchange for the privilege of spending the rest of my life in jail, you're wasting your time."

"No, not the rest of your life," Jack says firmly. Once again, Tony is caught off-guard, and his face betrays his curiousity for just a moment.

"What the hell are you talking about?" he asks.

"The president's willing to offer you a deal," Jack explains. "You tell them everything you know about Wilson's group and everyone you worked with on Emerson's crew, and share all the evidence you collected, and the US Attorney will charge you with 2nd degree murder of two agents and drop all the other charges. You'll serve a flat sentence, probably about 8-10 years."

Tony scoffs with disbelief. "Yeah, right. There's no way they'd offer me a deal like that."

"I have it all here in writing," Jack says. "Take a look." He hands Tony a folder. Tony opens it and looks at the documents. He also notices the picture from his wedding in the folder.

"Ah, what's this, throw that in there to try to tug at my heartstrings?" he asks Jack sarcastically.

"No. Kim found it on her computer when she was going through some old pictures and she had it printed for you. She thought you might like to have it."

"Well, tell her I appreciate it," he says with some degree of sincerity. "And I appreciate your negotiating a deal for me, but I'm not interested."

"Damn it, Tony, do you want to see Wilson go free? Because that's what's going to happen within 90 days unless you share the evidence you collected."

"And if I do share it? They'll use it to scare him into cooperating so he can cut a deal, or he'll hire some hotshot lawyer who will get him off on technicalities."

"You don't know that," Jack insists. "Renee already got the information we needed out of him. The FBI is going for a conviction. I can't promise you that they'll succeed but you've got nothing to lose by trying. This is a no-brainer, Tony."

"Yeah? Well not to me," Tony says defiantly.

"Why not? Because you're angry? Because you'd rather just give up and let them execute you? Because that's what's going to happen if you don't take this deal. You are going to get the death penalty."

"You think that scares me?" Tony asks angrily. "Frankly, I wish you'd killed me when you had the chance. After everything you took from me, don't you think that's the least you could have done?"

"Maybe I should have," Jack says with a bitter chuckle. "I wanted to, believe me. But something stopped me. I guess part of me wasn't ready to give up on you. Part of me wasn't ready to accept that my friend who saved my life and who used to be one of the most sensitive people I knew was gone completely. And call me crazy, but I still believe that. I remember when I interviewed you for your first job at CTU 15 years ago, when you told me that your father and brother were gunned down in South Central Los Angeles when you were a teenager and you wanted to work at CTU so that you could help save other people from going through the pain you and your mother went through, and in spite of all evidence to the contrary I still believe that that person is in there somewhere."

"Believe whatever you want, Jack," Tony says indifferently, but Jack can tell that he's starting to get through.

"Tony, come on," Jack says softly. "Listen, I could never condone what you did, but I know what it's like to get so caught up in getting the job done that you get to the point where you can justify anything. You can't take back what you did and you're going to have to find a way to live with it. But you have the chance to at least make sure it wasn't all for nothing. Tony, I am giving you the chance to finish what you started."

Tony chuckles with disbelief. "Finish what I started? You're the one who made damn sure that I would never get to finish what I started. How does it feel to know that thanks to you, everyone I killed died for nothing, huh, Jack?"

"It doesn't have to be for nothing, Tony," Jack says forcefully. "You have the chance to save potentially thousands of innocent lives. And I know that right now you're too angry to think you care, but I know that you started out believing you would save more lives in the long run if you took down Wilson. Isn't that why you felt you were justified? Or was it all just for the satisfaction of pulling the trigger?"

Tony scoffs. "You're one to talk," he says bitterly. "You shot Nina Meyers when she was our only lead to stopping the Cordilla virus. What about all the innocent people who were in danger then, huh?"

"She was screwing around," Jack insists. "She didn't know anything else."

"You don't know that!" Tony yells. "You might have thought she was screwing around, but you didn't know for sure. And if there was even the slightest chance that she knew something that could have helped us find Alvers two minutes earlier, then you've got the blood of everyone who died in the Chandler Plaza Hotel on your hands!"

"You think I don't know that, Tony?" Jack retorts. Tony seems caught off-guard by his response. "You think that hasn't weighed heavily on me every day since? And you know what the worst part is? After I shot her, I didn't even feel better. If anything, I felt worse, because once she was gone I no longer had my anger to hide behind. And once I couldn't hide behind my anger anymore, I had to actually deal with the pain. I had to face the guilt I felt about the time Teri and I spent apart, about the times I pushed her away after Operation Nightfall when I should have clung to her for dear life."

Tony doesn't say anything, but Jack can tell from the change in his facial expression that he's starting to get through.

"Starting to ring a bell, isn't it, Tony?" Jack taunts. Tony just rolls his eyes, trying not to let his emotion show. "Starting to feel guilty about pushing Michelle away after you got out of prison? Starting to think about all the time you wasted drinking and feeling sorry for yourself when you could have been with her?"

For a second after Jack says that, Tony looks like he's been punched in the stomach. He struggles to regain control, not wanting Jack to see that he's getting through.

"I'm guessing it's been a while since you've let yourself think about Michelle at all, am I right?" Jack continues. He knows he's getting through and he needs to keep punching while Tony's guard is weakened. "Because you didn't want to have to deal with your guilt, or question whether she would agree with what you were doing. As long as you pushed her memory away you didn't have to think about the fact that you were becoming someone she wouldn't even recognize. That's why you reacted the way you did when I gave you your wedding picture, isn't it?"

Tony shakes his head defiantly, fighting to contain his emotions. "You don't know what you're talking about," he insists, but Jack can tell he doesn't even believe his own words.

"Unfortunately for both of us, I know exactly what I'm talking about and you know it. And that's why you can't hide from me. Everyone else might buy your cold-hearted poker face but you're not fooling me with it. No matter how much you try to hide it I can see how uncomfortable you are right now, because you're being forced to deal with things you'd rather just keep avoiding. And no matter how indifferent you act, I know how much pain you're in," Jack says, his voice softening when he says the last line.

Tony purses his lips, desperately trying to avoid crying. "I was going to be a father, Jack," he says weakly, his voice starting to crack. "We were going to start a family...then in one second it was all gone...they took everything I had..." he says softly, letting his guard down for just a second.

"I know," Jack says softly, torn about what to do. Part of him wants to go for the knock-out punch and tell Tony that one of the agents he killed had just become a father. But he realizes that Tony is starting to let his guard down and Jack doesn't want to force him back onto the defensive.

"Yeah, I know you do," Tony snaps, regaining control of his emotions. "That's why you of all people should understand that I did what I had to do. Look, I know that some of the agents in that building had families too and I'm not proud of that. But someone had to take these people down. Someone had to do it, and you were nowhere to be found," he says bitterly.

"You know what? Maybe you're right," Jack agrees, catching Tony off-guard. "But I don't think you really cared about any of that. I don't think you cared about saving a single innocent life. I don't think you were driven by anything but your own selfish desire for revenge. I wanted to believe otherwise, but clearly I was wrong."

"That's not true," Tony says defiantly.

"Then why won't you cooperate with the FBI?" Jack asks angrily. Tony just shakes his head, unable to come up with a good answer.

"You know what it is? I think you're doing this to spite me, aren't you?" Jack asks. Tony just looks at him like he's nuts. "You're angry that I stopped you from killing Wilson so you want to get back at me by letting innocent people die. I don't blame you for being angry...I don't blame you if you hate my guts right now, and if you take this deal, you'll get out of here in 10 years and you can hunt me down and kill me yourself if that's what you want."

"You think I want to kill you, Jack?" Tony asks with disbelief. "I told you, I didn't want to have to hurt you. I never wanted to bring you into this at all, but as usual, you just couldn't keep your nose out of it like I told you to. If I wanted to hurt you, I would have told my people to kill Kim when they were done with her."

"You know, Kim was the one who encouraged me to come here today," Jack tells Tony. "In spite of what you did to her and to me she still wanted me to see if I could help you." Tony looks a little surprised. "I want to help you, Tony," Jack continues, his voice softening. "You take this deal, and cooperate with the FBI, and I will stand behind you. I know what you're going through, and I can help you deal with the guilt, and the pain."

"I don't need your help, Jack," Tony says bitterly.

"Of course not," Jack snaps. "You don't need anyone's help, because you're too weak to deal with your emotions. You just want to give up and let them execute you because it's easier than dealing with your problems, right? Forget it...I'm sorry I wasted my time," he says, getting up to leave. When he gets halfway to the door he turns around.

"Michelle was what, about four months along when she died?"

Tony looks bewildered by the question. "What difference does it make?" he asks coldly.

"How far along was she?" Jack demands forcefully.

"About four months. We had just found out that it was a boy about a week earlier," Tony says nonchalantly.

"So your son would be about seven?" Jack asks.

"Yeah, I guess so. What does it matter now though?"

"Because before you decide to turn down this deal, I want you to picture Michelle telling your seven-year-old son that his father's going to die because he didn't care enough to fight for his life. I want you to picture her telling him that he's less safe going to school every day and that some of his classmates might be killed by terrorists because his father refused to do what he could to stop them. Is that something you can live with?"

Tony shakes his head defiantly. "No. Uh uh. You don't get to do this, Jack. You can't tell me that Michelle would despise me for what I did and then turn around and use her or my son to try to manipulate me into doing what you want."

"And what she would want," Jack insists. "She would want you to do the right thing. So why don't you honor her memory for once instead of pissing on her grave?"

"Don't you think it's a little late for that, Jack?" Tony asks.

"Oh, it's more than a little late," Jack says angrily. "But that doesn't mean it's too late. It is not too late to honor Michelle's life, and it is not too late to be the man you would have wanted your son to look up to."

Tony just shakes his head, unable to believe Jack.

"You have the chance to make them proud, Tony," Jack says softly before turning to go. "Just think about that."

"Hey Jack?" Tony calls as Jack approaches the door.

"Yeah?" Jack asks, turning around.

"Just so you know, there's nothing you could have done. Even if you had known I was alive and been able to preach your self-righteous crap to me earlier, I wouldn't have listened to you," he says.

"Yeah," Jack says softly. Despite Tony's sarcastic tone, he knows this is a peace offering of sorts, that it's Tony's way of telling him not to blame himself. He takes one final glance at Tony before leaving the room, hoping that somehow he got through.


	5. Chapter 5

_Tony is strapped to a chair, about to be injected with a lethal injection. _

_"Is there anything you want to say, any last words?" the executioner asks. _

_"No. Let's just get this over with," Tony says. _

_As he is about to be injected, he sees Michelle through the glass, watching the execution with a six-year-old boy who looks like a junior version of Tony. She has tears in her eyes, and a look on her face that says "how could you?" _

_"Daddy!" the boy calls out, tears streaming down his face. Michelle quickly wraps her arms around him and covers his eyes so he doesn't have to witness his father being injected with the needle, tears streaming down her own face as she watches. _

-

Tony wakes up in a cold, dark prison cell, shaking and sweating from the nightmare. He gropes around until he finds the sink in his cell, then leans over it and starts vomiting.

After a few minutes, he goes back and sits on his bed, still shaking. He then starts ripping the sheet off the cot and wraps it around his neck. He tightens it and holds it for a minute, cutting off his ability to breathe. But as he starts to feel himself choking he loosens the sheet, unable to go through with it.

Instead, he reaches under the bed and takes out the wedding picture Jack brought him. He stares at Michelle's picture, tears welling up in his eyes. "I'm sorry, baby" he whispers to her, unable to stop the tears from falling.

"I'm so sorry," he whispers again, finally letting out some of the tears he's kept bottled up for years.

-

12 HOURS LATER

Jack is at the airport waiting at a gate when his phone rings.

"This is a call from Central Detention Facility. Do you wish to accept the call?"

"Yeah. Yes. Put it through," Jack says anxiously. He waits for a minute while the call is connected.

"Jack, you there?" Tony asks after a minute.

"Yeah," Jack says cautiously. "What's going on?"

Tony takes a deep breath. "I'm just calling to let you know that I decided…I want to take the deal, if I still can," he says, his tone showing how hard it is to swallow his pride. "I'm willing to cooperate with the FBI. I've got enough phone conversations recorded that hopefully it'll be enough to convict Wilson and several of his associates."

Jack looks skeptical. "What made you change your mind?" he asks warily.

Tony sighs. "I thought about what you said," he admits. "And I had a dream that sort of crystallized everything. I woke up shaking and I…I thought about killing myself…but I guess somehow I knew that wasn't the right answer…"

"No, it's not," Jack says firmly. "You made the right decision. If you're ready to cooperate I'll tell the FBI," he says. "But you need to tell whoever questions you everything you know, and I mean everything."

"You're not going to do it yourself?" Tony asks.

"No. It's not my job anymore," Jack says. Tony seems surprised. "But I'm going to listen to the tapes of your questioning and believe me, I'm going to know if you're screwing around. And the president won't hesitate to pull the deal the second I tell her you're not living up to your end of it, you understand?"

"Yeah," Tony says. "I understand. Don't worry – it's not like I have anyone to protect."

"Yeah," Jack says with a sigh. "I'll let the US Attorney know you're going to accept the deal."

"Alright, thanks," Tony agrees. He hesitates for a moment.

"Hey Jack?" he asks as Jack is about to hang up.

"Yeah?"

"Did you mean what you said the other day, about Michelle? I mean, when you said it wasn't too late, do you really believe that, or were you just trying to get me to do what you wanted?"

Jack hesitates for a moment before deciding how he wants to answer the question, his face growing more sympathetic as he hears the anguish in Tony's voice.

"If I didn't believe it, I would have killed you when I had the chance," he says firmly.

Tony can't help but be slightly amused at Jack's choice of words. He chuckles slightly for a moment, but then becomes emotional again.

"Listen, Jack, for what this is worth, I want you to know that I…I'm glad you're okay. You probably don't believe me, but I meant what I said that night, that I never wanted you to get hurt," he stammers.

Jack sighs, knowing this is the closest thing to an apology that Tony is able to muster right now.

"I...I understand," Jack says softly. He is nowhere near ready to forgive Tony for the things he did, especially for putting Kim in danger. But he knows that it was hard for Tony to swallow his pride and call him, so he doesn't want to discourage him too much.

"Listen, Tony, you probably don't want my advice, but for what it's worth, you're probably going to have a lot more nightmares like the one you had last night. And I can tell you from experience that the best thing you can do for yourself is to try to face whatever you're feeling instead of continuing to hide behind your anger."

"How am I supposed to do that, Jack?" Tony asks, his voice choking up. "I don't even know who I am anymore…I don't even know what I feel, let alone how to deal with it."

Jack sighs, finding it hard not to be sympathetic in spite of how angry he is. "Just take it one step at a time," he says reassuringly. "Start by letting yourself remember her."

Tony shakes his head frantically. "No…I can't," he says feebly.

"You don't have a choice," Jack says firmly. "I know it's painful, but if you keep pushing away her memory, you're going to keep having those dreams, and you're going to keep having panic attacks every time you see something that reminds you of her."

In the background, the announcer calls the second boarding call for Jack's flight.

"Listen, I've got to get on the plane, but I'll be home later if you want to talk."

Tony shakes his head, trying desperately not to cry. "No, that's okay. Don't worry about it. Just get on with your life and forget about me, alright?" he urges, hanging up before Jack can answer, and before he can hear him cry.

* * *

_This is probably it for this story, but after a 3 year hiatus I am thinking about writing a post-season 8 story if anyone is interested, so stay tuned. Reviews are always appreciated._


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